


so when you're tired of everything

by soren_centric



Category: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort ?, aka soren thinks hes fine n that he can do it, give soren a hug, ikesoren but not really romantic here, soren needs a hug, soren's mind has had enough so it packed its bags n left, when he really Can't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:28:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24613789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soren_centric/pseuds/soren_centric
Summary: (just come to me.)or: Soren has a minor mental breakdown and Ike strikes up a compromise.
Relationships: Ike & Senerio | Soren, Ike/Senerio | Soren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	so when you're tired of everything

**Author's Note:**

> good evening. it is 3 am. im sleepy. everyone who's reading this Must hug soren. thank u.

Usually, they don't have so many battles lined up one after another. Usually, Soren has time to think about things other than the best way to (a) keep Ike and the rest of the Greil Mercenaries alive (b) keep anyone else fighting alongside them alive and (c) reduce the amount of unnecessary casualties and time taken. It comes naturally to him after years of observing battles and almost a decade of studying battle tactics.

But sometimes when there's no time to rest, to think about something else, to simply look at the sky to  _ look _ at it, his brain shuts down. Still, he can power through it by use of brute force. He has always powered through it, because anything else means that their chances at surviving and winning are at stake. He's proud of himself for having the strength to power through it.

Today, though, something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong.

For some reason, he can't power through and break the wall between him and his thoughts. He's trying, trying so, so hard, but it isn't happening. Maybe he needs some more time? Ike and the rest of them are looking at him, making him nervous because he can't give them an answer just yet. He closes his eyes to concentrate. He doesn't get much thinking done before Ike's hand wraps around his upper arm.

"Soren?" Ike says.

Soren feels like he's hearing Ike through water. Ike sounds so… far away. He opens his eyes to find everyone still looking at him, but now with their eyebrows furrowed, like he'd done something wrong. 

"What? What happened?" He asks, mild panic just beginning to set in. He turns to Ike. "Did I bump into you?"

"You… You lost your balance and almost fell backward." Ike says. He looks like he's worried, maybe even scared. "Soren, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just… Just give me a minute, I'll come up with something." He closes his eyes again. He can't look at them when they're making expressions like that. If he just concentrates… If he can just…

"Soren!" Ike exclaimes, sounding more worried than before. Titania is also calling for him. Ike's hand is on his upper arm again, tighter than last time.

Soren has to force himself to open his eyes this time. Everyone looks even more worried, and Mist is hurrying out of the room. His cheeks are strangely… wet. He has to let his brain work everything out for a minute before he realizes that the wetness is his own tears, and that he's crying for whatever reason. He doesn't comprehend any of the questions he's being asked. He stands there, looking down at the map on the table, unable to think clearly about anything. He must look like an idiot right now.

"Soren, you're clearly not okay." Ike says, bending down so he's eye level with Soren. Soren looks up at him. "What's–" 

Soren can't take the questions, nor the looks anymore. He gently pulls away from Ike and looks down again and tries to stop his stupid tears. Ike moves toward him by instinct, but Soren takes another step away.

"I'll… I'll come up with something. Just give me a bit of time. I'll come back with a plan." Soren says, voice shaking, before he turns on his heel and walks out of the room. 

He has to find somewhere where he can be alone. He can't be like this near them. Usually he powers through this feeling and makes up for the brute force at night, when none of them are looking at him, but today his mind has betrayed him and made him look stupid in front of everyone. In front of Ike. They're depending on him to come up with a strategy. So he has to come up with a strategy.

He ends up walking quite a bit further away from the abandoned building where they'd set up camp, till he's near the beginning of what looks like a small forest; small because the only forest he can really compare it to is the Serenes Forest, which is probably an unfair comparison for this one. He walks further till he's sure he's covered by the trees and sits down at thr foot of one. His white robes are probably going to suffer from that action, but whatever.

He folds his legs so he can rest his arms across his knees and rest his forehead on them. Why can't he come up with anything? It should be easy. It should come naturally to him. He's the famed tactician of the Greil Mercenaries who has single handedly turned impossible wins into highly possible ones. He should be able to do this. But his mind isn't working. Annoyingly enough, he's still crying. He doesn't even know why. He tugs at his hair in frustration.

_ If Oscar and Titania go in first to scout exact enemy positions, followed by Marcia in the air, then…. ambush forces… If Ike and Boyd went in without any warning, then… surprise attacks are… _

He can't make heads or tails of what he should do. After what had happened in the last battle due to ambush forces, he doesn't want to leave it out. But they're difficult to deal with, since they could come out at any moment, from anywhere. They wouldn't be fighting in an open area, there's no way he can predict where the ambush force would come in from. Scouting would be dangerous too –

Ah.

His head hurts.

There's the sound of footsteps in the distance, and Soren knows at once who it is

"Soren?"

Really, he should have expected Ike to show up even earlier. He doesn't even have the energy to be surprised. The footsteps come closer and closer till they stop beside him. He doesn't look up.

"There you are. Everyone's worried about you." Ike says, sitting down beside him.

Soren doesn't know what to say. He doesn't have any strategy figured out yet. He tugs at his hair unconsciously and stops only when Ike's fingers gently pry his own open so he'd let go of his hair.

"Are you okay? Tired?"

"I'm not tired. I slept well enough, and I haven't done much today, but still…" Soren trails off, unable to describe it.

Ike hums. It's quiet for a while before he speaks up again.

"Soren, look." Soren looks up. Ike is holding out his arm in front of him, moving it this way and that. "If i was to do this for a short amount of time, what'll happen?"

"... Nothing, if it's for a short amount of time." Soren replies.

"Then, if i do this for a few hours, say, five, then what would happen?"

"You'd get tired. Your arm would hurt." Soren says, still not knowing where this conversation's leading.

"If you can say that for me, why not say it for yourself? Your mind is like my arm. If you use it too much without a break, you'll get tired. It doesn't have to be physical." Ike puts his arm down.

"But if I don't come up with a strategy –" Soren starts.

"It'll be okay. You deserve a break every once in a while, right? You're the reason we're all able to take breaks, you plan things out for us. I'm sorry that the past few days have been so busy, but I want you to take today, maybe even tomorrow, off." Ike says, finally turning to look at him.

"It's okay, Ike, I'll power through it. I don't need to take a break." Soren says, even as his head throbs. "What I need to do is–"

"You narrowing your eyes means one of two things. One, you seeing someone you don't like; unless everything you've said to me till now was a lie, that's not what it is. Two, a headache. In which case, you need rest."

*But–"

"Soren, even if you force through it today, it'll be worse tomorrow, won't it? It'll keep getting worse till you finally crash one day. It's not good for you to force yourself like this. If i got hurt during a battle, and wanted to go back into the battlefield without healing up properly, would you let me go?"

"I'd tie you down to the bed to keep you there."

"Then I suppose I'll have to do the same."

"Ike…"

"It's okay to take a break every once in a while, Soren. I'll handle it. What kind of a Commander am I if I can't even handle this much for a few days?" Ike places his hand on Soren's. "If you take a break now, you can come back later feeling better than ever."

"But I'd hate to be doing nothing while you're all working hard. I can't accept that." Soren huffs, reluctant.

"Then you do something too. Just not something that requires you to think too hard. Something simple, yet productive. Let's see..."

"Something simple…" Soren mumbles, eyebrows furrowing as he tries to think.

Ike taps his forehead with a finger. "I said no thinking. Let me think of something, and you tell me if you like it."

Soren decides that it'll be better to just let him. He takes a deep breath and looks up at the canopy above him. There's sunlight filtering through the leaves, dappling the ground around him. It looks beautiful like that. The green of the leaves is brighter. He watches the sunlight dance around when the wind blows as he waits.

"Help us clean our equipment." Ike says, after a while.

"Equipment?"

"Yeah. They get pretty messed up in battle, right, so you can help us with cleaning and we'll help you with planning."

"Maybe so…" Soren says. He doesn't dislike the idea, really. Cleaning seems like a calming, methodical thing to do without having to think much. "Fine."

"See, that wasn't so hard. Next time you feel like this, just tell me, okay? It's not good to push yourself like this."

Soren nods. Ike presses their shoulders together. They stay there for a while more, just  _ being,  _ for the first time in a long while. Soren likes it a lot. He almost doesn't want to leave but Ike gets hungry, which is probably the only reason they don't stay longer. Titania, Mist and Rhys fuss over Soren the moment they see him and let him go only when he and Ike tell them of the compromise.

The battle, for now, is far off.

**Author's Note:**

> had one of those days lately so what better to do than project onto a comfort character n have comfort character seek comfort in place of me
> 
> find me @ tumblr @ soren-centered. ill post art at some point.


End file.
